You Are Worth More
by SwampTreader
Summary: It wasn't happening, not to her, not to Toph. Nothing will ever be the same after a tragic event changes Toph's life forever, in ways she never could have expected.
1. Chapter 1

**Important Author's Note****: This story contains sexual assault and the affects thereof. I understand how sensitive a topic this is and I assure you I take this subject seriously and I don't use it simply as a plot device. Sexual assault, rape and other acts of the like change a person's life forever, it shapes their lives in an unwanted way and there is so much pain and recovery involved in such an event. I respectfully hope to capture this and encourage others towards recovery and maybe shed some light on how awful a crime this is. This story could be triggering so read with caution or avoid all together. ABSOLUTLY NO EXPLICIT CONTENT ABOUT RAPE WILL BE IN THIS STORY. **

**On another note: The original version of this story is "This Isn't Happening to Me". I am currently rewriting it now that I've gained some experience in writing.**

Toph awoke slowly, her eyelids dragging open, her lungs expanding as she took a deep breath. The air was smoky and musky, not the fresh earthy scent of her home. She blinked, clearing the stickiness of sleep from her eyes. Her mind felt foggy, murky even. As she awoke fully she felt her head begin to pound, sending shockwaves of pain to her eardrums. The young woman lifted one hand to her unruly black hair, clutching her scalp. She sat up, disoriented, feeling a bit dizzy and gasped as the blankets slipped of her naked body. "What?" She breathed clutching at the thin fabric, hurrying to cover herself. Where was she? She fumbled around, her ankle getting twisted in the sheet as she stretched her toes down from the cot to the floor. Her surroundings were unfamiliar and she could not recall ever coming to a place such as this. She had no memory of ever arriving in this room, this building or even the town she could feel the faint vibrations of about a half mile away. She gritted her teeth against the pain in her head and clutched the blanket closer to her chest as she scooted to the edge of the cot to begin searching for her clothes.

_Where am I?_ She thought, waiting for her head to stop swimming. _Why in Agni's name am I naked? Did I get drunk last night? _She knew something was off, something deep her in gut told her something was terribly wrong when she couldn't recall last night for the life of her. She lowered her weight onto her toes and nearly cried out with the pain it brought. A deep ache resonated between her legs, something so very different but almost as painful as the worst of her monthly cramps. Her knees nearly buckled but she steeled herself and desperately began pawing blindly for her clothes. She may not remember what had happened the previous evening but every instinct in her body told her to _get out. _She located each article of clothing on the floor and yanked them on, leaving her bindings where they lay. She didn't have time to tie the intricate knots feeling panicked as she was. She hurried from the room, slipping quietly down the various halls, heading for the edge of the building where she could see a door that led outside. She limped along, ignoring the ache in her body with each hurried footstep.

When she finally got outside every fiber in her body was telling her to run, to run home as quickly as her feet could carry her. Toph could not feel anyone preparing to ambush her, actually, no one was even on the small dirt road trailing alongside the forest. She forced herself to take deep breaths, to calm down and figure out which direction she needed to go in to get home. Toph settled into a deep horse stance, well as deep as she could with the pain that was radiating from her center. Taking slow breaths through her nose she reached out with her earthbending. The vibrations she got back were fuzzy, she reasoned it was because of the migraine thumping away in her head, but she managed to lengthen her senses for miles easily enough. At twenty she had honed her senses so acutely she had even learned to read vibrations of other vibrations, therefore allowing her to see farther than ever before. Toph finally saw familiar surroundings about ten to fifteen miles away. Usually she was a good judge of distance but her head just hurt so much. She stood up straight and started walking. It wasn't long before she could feel the noon sun burning her cheeks, surely leaving a red tinge behind that would last for a few days. The headache had not relented and only seemed to worsen, aggravated by the hot sun. She was sweating, thirsty and still aching in private places. She was nearly in tears when she still could not remember what had happened the previous day. She had been walking for hours at this point, just barely halfway home now. The pain between her legs had intensified and when she could no longer bear it, resorted to limping, hoping to ease the pain. Slowly, slowly, she began to recall flashes of yesterday. She could remember small scenes in her mind, lasting perhaps a minute. A man. There was a man.

_"__I want you to have tea with me," he smiled broadly. She had met him just ten minutes ago when they had literally ran into each other at a jewelry stand. His name was Jai- Ling and he was tall, handsome and easy to talk to. Toph could feel with her feet his heart was racing, anxious for her response. _

_"__Sure, why not?" She had grinned. _

_"__Awesome! I know this great place!" He responded gleefully. He led her to the tea house, chatting the whole way about the things he'd seen when he worked at the docks on the coast of the Fire Nation. When they reached the little tea shop he showed her to a small table on the patio and disappeared inside the tea shop. When he came back she felt his heart hammering in his chest. She had nearly laughed out loud at him being so nervous, it wasn't even a date… at least Toph didn't think it was… or was it? Regardless, she was enjoying being in his upbeat company. "Here, just for you," he said sweetly handing her on of the teacups he was holding. "I'm so glad you decided to come with me," he said with a nervous smile as he sat across from her. Toph responded silently with a smile, sipping her tea. If not for her feeling particularly generous that day, she would have spewed that vile liquid all over this guy's face. It was sickly sweet with a bitter, bitter after bite. She choked it down, unwilling to let him know he had picked a bad tea shop for a "date". "Honestly, I haven't been out with anyone for a long time."_

_"__Why's that?" Toph asked curiously, avoiding her next drink of tea that tasted worse than swamp water in an old water-skin baking in the sun for a week… and she had tasted that before. _

_Jai- Ling shrugged, "Been too busy working I suppose." He paused. "Can I asked you a personal question?" The man hesitated for a moment. "And I mean you don't have to answer if you don't want to."_

_"__Yeah, sure, go for it," she replied. _

_"__How exactly do you get around by yourself? I mean, you don't even have a seeing-eye lemur or anything and yet you're so confident walking around."_

_Toph chuckled a little. "I'm an earthbender. I taught myself to see using vibrations. It's kind of like a wolf-bats sonar. In a way, I see better than anyone else."_

_"__Whoa, really? That sounds awesome! So how acute is it?"_

_"__I mean I can feel heartbeats and see around myself for about a mile or two pretty well. But I've been practicing and I can sense vibrations up to… well miles away now."_

_"__That's really impressive!" He responded in awe. Toph yawned, beginning to feel a bit sleepy from her day of shopping. She took another painfully disgusting drink of tea and almost groaned. She really wanted to tell this guy the tea sucked but she felt extra nice today… and she was really feeling too tired to start an argument. They talked for another twenty minutes, getting to know each other, chatting about little, unimportant things going on in their lives. Toph's eyes were drooping by then and she just wanted to go home. She could just imagine the sludge cake in the bottom of the tea cup. She winced and swallowed the last bit. It was possibly the worst thing she'd ever had in her whole life, all twenty years of it. She let her eyelids fall shut for a moment and she hummed in agreement to something Jai-Ling had said. _

And that was the last thing she remembered. It was late afternoon now, the sun was at its hottest and sweat was rolling down her spine. She had begun to feel nauseous nearly an hour ago, she chalked it up to the migraine that was, thank the spirits, slowly leaving her head. She had tried to keep from vomiting but she could no longer stand it and she dropped to her knees as her stomach wrenched its contents through her throat, burning on the way out. She dry-heaved, nothing left in her belly now but stomach acid. She was so thirsty, every inch of her body crying out for something, anything to drink. She pushed on, cursing whoever, whatever had done this to her.

It was nearly dusk before she finally arrived home, sunburnt, dehydrated and miserable. She slammed her door shut and made a beeline for her sink. Sokka had actually installed what he called "indoor plumbing" and Toph was never more grateful for clean, cold water at her disposal. She drank, sipped water carefully from the clay cup she had crafted months before. She knew better than to guzzle for her body would simply, and promptly, return the liquid if she was not patient. She shifted her weight to her other foot and winced. The pain in her groin was no longer unbearably, simply more of a surprise than painful. Now that she was home, somewhere safe where she no longer had to worry about her safety, she could start trying to piece her memories together, try to figure out what happened.

She slid down the smooth cabinets under her kitchen counter onto the cool floor. She always felt better the closer to the ground she was. She felt gross, felt grimy and unclean from sweat and dirt caking her skin. Dust did not bother her, but wet, sticky dirt did. She started to pull her knees to her chest but stopped when she felt something pull at her skin at her inner thighs. Whatever dirt had managed to get there had caked and she brushed it off with her fingers. She yanked her hands back when she realized it wasn't dirt, it was dried _blood. _Fear started to seep into her veins. Why was she bleeding? She was in the middle of her cycle and shouldn't bleed for another two or three weeks. She pressed her center gently, grimacing when she felt pain shoot through her. She felt raw, bruised and ached so very deeply. Some part of her mind brought back the vile taste of tea she had yesterday, brought back the fuzzy, dazed memory of the last moments she remembered of Jai-Ling.

Her heart started pounding, realization starting to take hold. She felt _wrong. _Every cell in her body suddenly felt awry. She had woken up naked, who knows how far from that town she and Jai-Ling had shared tea in, she had been- someone had-

"No," she breathed. "No, no, no, no" she chanted, clutching her tangled black hair in her fingers. She tugged slightly at her scalp, utter disbelief freezing her heart, her lungs, all the blood in her veins. All other thought left her except for the one screaming that she had been violated. Ravaged viciously by a man… by- by _him. _By that monster that had been so kind to her and taken her for tea. Her skin crawled and she scraped her fingernails down her arms, leaving red trails in their wake. She had to get clean, _now. _She hurried to the bathroom and cranked the handle as hot as it would go. She stripped down and climbed into the tub. The water was hot, scalding, burning her skin, leaving it tinged red as the water rose. When the bathtub was full, the water at her rib cage, she turned the faucet off. Toph sat there, completely unable to wrap her mind around what had transpired within the last 24 hours. She shifted her legs, wincing at the pain in her most private places. Her hands shook as she reached for the sponge and soap she kept on the edge of the tub. And when she began to clean herself, she discovered bruises on her breasts and hips, bite marks on her sides she had not noticed before. Her grief came then, and she cried. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep from shattering.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this! She was supposed to be in love, she wanted to be married! All her hopes and dreams of a normal life seemed so small and dim and _gone_. She didn't understand how it could have happened, not to her, she was supposed to be the greatest earthbender in the world, and she couldn't even keep herself from being-. No she couldn't even think it, but it lay there still, stagnating in her mind, poisoning her thoughts.

She sobbed, her cries choking her and wracking her petite frame. Everything had been stolen from her, robbed so violently by a stranger. She hated herself for letting it happen to her, she was embarrassed, mortified. Toph had never, ever cried so hard in her life. She felt so used, so worthless, how could she possibly go in living in this skin? Her flesh crawled, feeling phantom touches that weren't there. She grabbed the sponge floating in the water and scrubbed her skin raw, until it burnt, until she was so sore she could feel her heartbeat burning her skin with every thump. She cleaned under her nails, between her fingers and toes and washed her hair three times, desperate to get the smell of him off of her. When the water turned cold and she stepped out of the draining tub, she dried herself with a soft towel. She would have regretted scrubbing her skin so raw but it seemed such a pointless, menial thing to worry about now. She braced herself, forced down the cries that threatened to escape as she picked up the clothes she had been wearing.

She entered her room, starting a fire in the fireplace across the room from her bed and she threw the soiled clothes in the flames. She clutched the towel tightly in her fingers, securing it around her body, too insecure to let it fall to the floor as she normally would have done as she dug through her draws for something to wear. Her free hand found a pair of underwear and a large tunic. When she had changed she curled up tenderly in the center of her bed, listening to her clothes burn. Sleep didn't find her for a long time, her mind was too busy racing and her heart too busy aching. She had no mores tears to cry, her chest ached from sobbing and now she lay there numb, unable to feel anything but sorrow and fear. She curled into herself tighter, her nose brushing the edge of the large tunic she wore. She caught the scent, it was familiar, of sea and woods and leather. This was Sokka's tunic he'd left here the last time he visited. Although she felt her heart race briefly at the thought of a man, it was dispelled when she breathed in again. The smell of the tunic calmed her and she finally, finally slept.


	2. Chapter 2

Toph's appetite nearly matched Sokka's in veracity. She loved food, loved the taste, the smell, the sight and simply liked eating it. But the following morning she was so sick with agony and grief the mere thought of food made her cringe. She had slept so fitfully the night before she had not dreamt, and to her, that was a blessing. She had feared she would have nightmares and although she was tired, she was grateful she had not slept deep enough to reach the depths of unconsciousness where the nightmares lay. She lay in bed, unmoving, unwilling to uncurl herself and start the day. Her mind ran rampant, darting from scene to scene, thought to thought. At one point she thought she heard something outside her bedroom window and quickly swung her leg over the edge of the bed to rest her toes on the ground. No one was lurking outside her window, nothing but a rabbit down by the stream behind her house. She was hearing things. She felt more confident with her feet touching the ground. Usually she slept with her arm or leg dangling over the edge of the bed touching the floor but last night it had escaped her mind to do so. She felt panicked suddenly, thinking of all the things that could have happened to her last night. What if someone broken in? What if some man came into her room to-

She sat up, grabbing the blankets off her bed and throwing them on the floor between her bed and the fireplace, making a little nest for herself. She would be safer this way with her whole body touching the ground, she would be able to feel if someone approached her house. Toph poked at the fire, making little flames leap back to life and warm her room. She nestled back into the pile of blankets and covered herself with a blanket Katara had made her as a house-warming gift. It was made of thin material but it was warm enough with the fire going. Toph felt a little safer this way but she still felt a dark, gaping hole in her chest that seeped with fear. She napped, drifting off at most and having odd, fitful little half dreams. Eventually sleep would come no longer and she could no longer hold the memory of yesterday at bay. With the simple thought of Jai Ling, she felt panic stir in her stomach, her heart beat faster and her skin crawled. She felt dirty.

Toph didn't cry until she was sitting the tub, hot water pouring from the faucet. She felt phantom hands on her body, and when she passed the sponge over the bruises on her breasts and sides, it truly seemed as though she could feel his fingertips and mouth digging into her skin. She pulled her knees to her chest and cried, still unable to process what had happened to her. She was supposed to be the world greatest earthbender and yet she couldn't even keep herself safe. What had she done to deserve this? _"Why me? Why?" _She breathed to herself. She felt as though she were frozen, tied down in a fire and unable to get away from the agony. She replayed the day she had met him. She tried to understand where it had gone wrong, things she should have seen. It was her fault, she should have seen it coming. She should have been able to protect herself! What good was earthbending if she couldn't even have enough sense to protect herself? She snatched up the sponge and scrubbed her tender skin raw, desperate to wash away the bruises, the touches on her skin that weren't there, and her failure.

The bruises would fade, but the memory of his hands on her skin never would.

Toph did not eat that day. The thought of food made her sick and was honestly one of the last things on her mind. She wandered through her house, unsure of what she was even doing. She supposed she just needed movement, something, anything to make her mind function even a little. She opened the cupboards and closed them again, put off by the smell of food. She stood in the middle of her kitchen, unsure of what to do. She folded her arms over her chest and suddenly felt exposed out in the open like this. She decided it best if she just go back to the safety of her room and the nest of blankets in front of the fireplace. She felt chilled despite it being the end of summer so she started a small fire and nestled down in the blankets. Toph was so tired, so emotionally drained and exhausted. She felt that she didn't even _want _to be awake. She thought about it, constantly, even if it was not in the active thoughts in the front of her mind, it was in the back, creeping like a shadow, waiting until she gave in and gave it attention. She tried fervently to push it back, not to think about what had happened to her, terrified to go there, scared to allow herself to revisit the memories. She just wanted it to go away, to stop eating her alive. Tears slipped down her cheeks silently. She yearned for the escape of sleep, a quiet place she could be safe.

But after a day of fitful naps and aimless wandering, night came and brought with it the destruction of her one safe place. She had nightmares that night, horrid, vivid dreams that shattered the silence and peace of her escape. She woke screaming, sobbing uncontrollably and utterly terrified. She dreamed of the things that man had done to her, dreamed in sharp detail of the event even though she didn't even remember it. She didn't sleep for the rest of the night, too terrified to close her eyes again because Jai Ling lurked in the darkness.

When morning came she was so exhausted, not in body but in her mind. Her insides felt numb and the only thing that made her get out of bed was the need to bathe. She felt dirty and unclean. She didn't think she'd ever be clean again.

She did not eat that day either, only drank water when her throat became dry and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. Her stomach growled and ached for food, but she had no appetite, not even the desire to try and eat. If Katara was here, she would be scolding Toph for ignoring her body and forcing food down her throat. Katara… what would she think? What would Sokka think? What would any of them think? Surely they would hate her and disown her for this. They would look at her with disgust and never speak to her again. Upon that thought a new hole opened in her chest and she sobbed at the thought of never speaking to them again, never seeing them all because she was an imbecile and couldn't watch her own back. She couldn't bear never having contact with them again, especially Sokka, her best friend in the whole world. She wanted to tear her skin from her body, make it so that man never touched her, make everything normal again. She hated herself, loathed so deeply she couldn't even bear the thought of being in her own hide. She dragged her nails down her arms, only realizing she'd done it when she felt pain blossom over her skin. She had to think of something else before she really did start to peel the skin from her bones.

On the third day after the attack she could no longer ignore the ache in her stomach. She forced herself to eat a little bowl of rice and it was all she could bear. She had begun to wonder if she was really worth keeping alive. Toph spent most of her time sleeping, or at least trying to sleep, she almost thought the nightmares were easier to swallow than reality. Sometimes she got lucky and could sleep an entire six hours without a dream. The rest of her time was spent bathing, scrubbing her skin until it was red and burning, or wandering aimlessly about her house, searching for a purpose. Over the next week she worked up enough courage to walk down to the stream behind her house and skim her fingers just under the water's surface. It seemed to help, walking outside, hearing the birds call to one another and to feel the sunshine on her cheeks. She felt better. However, she got little sleep, her every dream no longer a dream but a nightmare. She ate even less. In the midst of her depression she had forgotten to feed herself.

A month passed in this fashion. She had not lost any weight, which she found odd one day as she reflected on when she would need to go to the market to get food, although it would not be anytime soon considering she was eating so little. Her nightmares never went away but they had simply become warped, turning into strange fairytales that no longer centered around her attacker, but other, bizarre things.

She awoke on a particularly chilly morning for the very beginning of fall and went about her routine of bathing. She had started to use her sea sponge as more of a bathing tool now instead of an eraser. She had finally started to gather some semblance of her normal, functioning mind. She had felt cramping in her abdomen upon waking and used the toilet, feminine linen in hand in anticipation of the manifestation of her cycle. She found she was indeed bleeding and prepared her underthings accordingly for when she was finished with her bath. She no longer dwelled on what had happened to her but tried to think of how she could get back to the way her life was before. She did not want to live the rest of her life in fear and depression like this. She knew she had to move on eventually and why not begin sooner rather than later? Perhaps she could lengthen her time outside when she walked down to the creek, eat a little more, maybe even go to the market. The last idea made her stomach knot. She would save that for later when she was a little more healed. She finished her bath, thinking of the turtle ducks she'd met at the Fire Palace a few years ago when they gaang had all gotten together. They were cute little things with fast heartbeats and adorable little quacks. The memory of them made her crack a smile and she felt a little more sure of herself when she got into the cupboards to find something to eat.

A week passed and her menstrual blood had stopped entirely, spotting at most. She thought it odd but then remembered something Katara had told her when they were fighting the war. The waterbender had informed her about becoming a woman and given her the talk about where babies came from and then she said that sometimes if a girl exercises too much or doesn't eat enough sometimes they wouldn't cycle. Toph came to the conclusion that that must be what was happening to her now. She wasn't eating much at all and her body was probably starting to divert energy from things that weren't really that important like her monthly bleeding. She made herself a small bowl of rice, unconcerned with flavor and taste. It was simply fuel now, she didn't enjoy food anymore. After she ate she forced herself to walk down to the stream, just to see how long she could stand being outside. She managed to lengthen her stay, comforted by feeling all the little animals scurrying around in the nearby woods. Being outside was not as hard now that she had started making a habit out of it, coming down to this stream nearly every day.

What was harder was eating properly, she still had not regained her appetite or any semblance of it really. She did not lose weight, even after almost two months of not eating correctly. She tried her best but her appetite just simply wasn't there. She awoke one morning and went to use the toilet just after turning the faucet to start her bath water. A thought occurred to her, it had seemed like a long time since she last bled… then again she had been bad and hadn't been eating much. She took her bath, refusing to think about her late menstrual cycle. Toph went about her day as per usual. She tried to get in the cupboards and find something to whet her appetite, but as normally happened, nothing sounded good. So she went for a walk down to the pond, watched some fish and tried to amp herself up to eat something when she went back to the house for the rest of the afternoon. She ate a bowl of rice and nibbled on a small hunk of stale bread. Then she went to bed in her nest of blankets.

The next morning she awoke cold, sweating and feeling like she was on a boat. Bile rolled in her stomach and climbed up her throat. She ran to the bathroom and was violently ill. Toph wiped her mouth and settled against the door trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She hoped she wasn't catching a flu bug.

Two days passed and she woke each morning vomiting, including today. And her cycle still had yet to begin.

_What if-… what if-_ _No. No it was her "first time" stuff like that didn't happen the first time did it? Nothing would have taken would it? It wasn't possible. It simply wasn't. _

She tipped back on her heels and let herself fall to her bottom. Toph clutched at her hair, drawing her knees up, her toes curling harshly against the stone tile floor of her bathroom. Things started falling into place, despite her willing it not to be true. Her last period was spotty, hardly any blood. It explained the bizarre dreams, no weight loss despite not eating enough, no blood this month….

It felt like all the air in her lungs had been knocked out of her. She sucked in a strangled breath, tears pricking her eyes.

_This can't be happening. It's not possible- This isn't happening to me!_

She felt as though the floor had opened up and swallowed her. Her skin crawled her head was pounding, she felt as though she might pass out. She imagined her belly swelling with the child of her rapist and her stomach rolled at the thought. She lurched forward and vomited again into the toilet. She was sobbing now, tears flooding down her cheeks. She rose shakily and rinsed her mouth out. She stumbled to the door framed, shaking uncontrollably, unable to even _begin _to grasp what was happening to her. All of her insides felt like they were being strangled and Toph could stand no more. She slid down the door frame and onto her knees, crying harder than she had when she discovered she'd been raped. In her agony, her house shook and cracks ran up along the walls, little puffs of dust falling from the ceiling. She would not realize she earthbent in her pain until two days later. She did not know how long she wept in the doorway until she found herself sitting silently, her hands folded in her lap, no more tears left to shed. It must have been hours, or at least that's what it felt like to the petite young woman of only twenty. She was so tired, so out of sorts that the only thing she knew to do was to curl up in her nest of blankets and stare into her fireplace, empty and cold like everything inside of her felt.

Toph felt so desolate and confused for days, forcing herself to eat, fearful of hurting the baby growing inside of her. She had thought of killing herself, but that would mean murdering the innocent life in her womb and she could not dream of doing that. There was something inside of her that was winding tighter and tighter to the new life she carried. Her nightmares started anew, dreaming of her assault and she woke often, her heart pounding out of her chest and tears gathering in her eyes. She was still learning to accept that she was pregnant by the man who had raped her, that she was carrying out of wedlock. She had screamed at no one and cried and cussed for all she was worth. She had clawed at her skin and cursed the world, wishing to simply disappear. When she remembered she would have to explain everything that happened to her to her friends she had wept from her heart, her body shook and she felt overwhelming panic at the thought of even moving.

Eventually she had begun to accept her reality and had taken to eating healthier, fuller meals. It had taken her two weeks to create a meal schedule for herself and another week to accomplish eating every meal of every day. She felt better, her body finally getting proper nourishment after nearly three months of scant food. If it was just herself she had to worry about she would have starved herself long ago and just waited for her body to wither away into nothing. But now, now she had a child in her belly, someone who _needed _her to get better. She had thought of keeping the baby after it was born but she knew she wasn't cut out to be a mother. Toph knew she would only screw up the baby's life and would be a horrible mother. She decided adoption was the best idea for her child. It stung and burned her heart but she knew it was what she had to do.

As far as how she was going to keep all this a secret, she did not know. She couldn't bear the thought of her friends finding out about her shame. Thinking of it only brought panic boiling in her chest. And the political implications of it would be even worse. Toph, one of the saviors of the world was raped and pregnant.. Luckily though she had managed to stay out of the public eye recently. Mostly because she had given up her classic, constantly dusty Blind Bandit uniform in place of softer green tunics and pale leggings (or at least that's what Katara had said when she'd forced her to buy a new wardrobe for her new, shapely body).

Toph was washing her laundry one day down by the stream, kneeling by the wash basin in her wrappings. She shook out her clean, wet clothes and hung them over low hanging branches of a sakura tree. She bent herself an earthen stool to sit on and wait for her clothes to dry. It was a hot, breezy day and shouldn't take very long, and for that she was grateful. She wasn't exactly a patient person. Her fingers brushed lightly at the tiny bump starting to form between her hips. She was still uncomfortable with acknowledging her pregnancy in any physical display. She finally let her whole hand rest against her growing belly as she relaxed in the shade. It felt nice being outside on such a warm day with a stiff breeze to keep her cool. It was probably the last day she would feel heat like this, for fall had already arrived. She lost herself in her thoughts, relieving memories of her travels around the world and fighting in the war. She chuckled to herself. To think, she had saved the world and become a war-hardened woman at 12 and here she was, all soft and round, carrying a child. Complete opposites. She got bored eventually and stood with her feet in the edge of the creek, mapping where every single fish was in her close proximity. She wiggled her toes and made the sand rub each of the fish's belly so they would dart off and find somewhere else to rest. It was practice, although simple and mindless but it felt nice to exercise her earthbending a bit. She occupied herself with this for an hour until she stepped over to feel how her laundry was drying. Her fingers had just fallen on a thin shift, when she felt footsteps approaching her front door only a few hundred yards away. Her breath stuck in her throat and panic stirred in her gut. She yanked the shift from the branch and pulled it over her head, the bottom of the green, nearly translucent dress reaching barely mid-thigh.

Toph tried to get a view of who it was, but was too scared to think straight and use her earthbending properly. She was in a blind panic, and settled into a sloppy horse stance, ready to defend herself when the stranger called out.

"Toph?"

She felt her heart sink and her muscles relax. It was Sokka.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He chuckled, though he sounded slightly worried as he jogged over. Toph nearly wept at the sight of him. She felt relief and a sense of safety fall over her as his long legs carried him closer. And yet, fear struck into her core at the thought of him finding out all her secrets. She straightened up and had barely raised her arms to receive his hug when he plowed into her. "I'm so glad to see you! Gosh, it's been forever!" The warrior greeted joyfully.

She had not even thought of how human contact would feel when she had held her arms out to him, but now she found herself shocked at how foreign and slightly unnerving it felt to have someone touching her so fully. She returned his hug quickly and uncomfortably and wriggled out of his grasp. "I know, it's been so long," she answered him, knowing he noticed her strange reaction to his affection. But she was unable to keep a small smile from reaching her lips, her very best friend was standing right in front of her after all. She could now look at him, all six feet of muscle and flesh marred by war wounds. My, he certainly had grown since the last time she saw him. How long had it been? A year? Two? "You got big, Ponytail," she blurted.

"Oh, yeah I guess," he stammered rubbing the back of his neck, still in the midst of taking in Toph and all of her new curves and beauty that had enhanced ten-fold since they'd last seen each other. It really surprised him how much someone could change in a year. Her late-blooming curves had filled out with muscle the last time he'd seen her, and now, though her strength was still evident, she was softer somehow. He had to pull his head out of the gutter when she asked him how he'd been. "I've been alright, traveling mostly," He informed her. "But tell me how you've been," he grinned, resting his hand on her shoulder.

She ducked out from under his hand and busied herself with throwing her laundry back in the basket. "I've been fine," she lied, forcing her voice not to quiver, quickly realizing she'd have to tell him sooner or later.

Sokka cocked an eyebrow at his friend's odd behavior. She wasn't necessarily _acting _strange, but he could feel the tension coming off her in waves. "I'm starving, you got anything to eat around here?" He asked snatching up a basket as Toph held the other one against her hip.

"Yeah, there's lots here but nothing very exciting," she informed, heading back up the small hill towards her house.

"I'm sure we can find something," Sokka smiled looking over at her. Her bangs hung in front of her eyes like they always had, the rest of her hair tied back in a ponytail, her eyes focusing on nothing as she walked.

Once inside, Toph took the second basket from him and stacked it on her own dropping them on the floor of her room. Then she realized how odd it would seem if he came in a saw she had been sleeping on the floor. Her heart started beating faster, quickly snagging the blankets in her hands and throwing them on the chair between her bed and the fireplace. She felt more unsettled at destroying a part of her routine and safety than she thought she would. It made her feel anxious and uncomfortable, but she had to shove those feelings aside for the time being as she made her way into the kitchen to make sure Sokka didn't completely tear her cupboards apart looking for food.

"You were right, there's nothing in here like, you know… _meat_." Toph rolled her eyes at his comment.

"Well go hunt something," she snorted plopping down on the couch. She kneaded her hands into her thighs, trying to calm herself about the fact that Sokka was _here _and he would see how strange she acted and how she didn't eat very much and- _spirits _he'd probably hear her vomiting in the morning. He would hate her when he found out she'd allowed herself to be attacked and gotten herself pregnant. He'd hate her and he'd tell everyone else and- Agni! What was she going to do!?

"Let's just go into town and get some fun stuff," the water tribesman suggested, shutting a cupboard.

"Uh- I can't," she panicked, heart racing at the mere thought of being around lots of people. "I have to, you know… fold my laundry and stuff…" she trailed off.

"We can do that when we get back," he shrugged. "I think fox-antelope steaks would be good tonight. Oh! And maybe fish or something for tomorrow…" he said losing himself in thoughts of meat.

"No, no, you go on ahead, I'll just stay here and… clean and fold laundry and stuff you know." Sokka just stared at her. Toph was the farthest thing from being tidy. "And besides there's dishes to do so we can eat." Sokka glanced over his shoulder at the sink. There wasn't a single dish in it.

"Toph, are you feeling ok?" He asked skeptically.

"Yeah! Of course I'm fine," she blurted, curling her toes tight against the edge of the coffee table.

"Then let's just go into town real quick and get some meat and come back."

"Drop it, Sokka!" She snarled, immediately snapping her jaw shut realizing what she'd just done.

"Geez, ok," he breathed rolling his eyes. Toph was so moody sometimes but this was out of the ordinary. So Sokka went off to the small town not far from Toph's home and the earthbender stayed in her place on the couch for nearly ten minutes after he left. She had to calm herself down, the stress of there suddenly being _another person_ here, let alone trying to hide her predicament was enough to make her shake. She got herself together, quickly folded her clothes and tidied the living room, making it appear as though she actually had things to clean.

Sokka returned an hour later, laden with bags of food. He immediately got to cooking, lighting the stove and putting a pan of vegetables and steak in the oven. He was chattering excitedly about this and that, mostly about the goodies he bought at the market. Toph smiled at him, glad he was still the same person she had met when she was twelve. Except now that gawky boy was trapped in a man's body. She sat at the table, watching him flit about the kitchen gathering plates and cups and utensils. The aroma of the cooking food made her mouth water and she actually looked forward to eating. Sokka sat down at the round table in the middle of the kitchen across from Toph. "So, what have you been up to lately?" He asked propping his elbows up on the table.

"Nothing," she replied, perhaps a little too eagerly. "My life's boring, I mean… what about you?"

"No, Toph really, I want to know how _you're _doing," he said, smiling gently.

"Well, um, I wake up in the morning and I take a bath and eat breakfast, then I do chores or go down to the stream to mess with the fish and that's really it," she strung along.

"Everyday?"

"Everyday."

"Hmm," he half snorted. "So I saw this really cool bag in town today…" he trailed off, purposely changing the subject. Toph felt bad for having such a boring life, but it was really taking everything she had just to get off the floor in the morning.

Sokka prattled on about his training to take over as Chief in the Southern Water Tribe. "I mean it was great being home, for a while at least. Then it just got to be…." he searched for the right words, "not enough, you know?" Toph blinked, her signal to him to keep going. "I loved learning about all that stuff, it was a great honor but I decided it just wasn't my calling. The thought of settling down in the South Pole was kind of a hard thing to accept, after everything that happened in the war. You know what it's like." The blind girl across from him nodded. She did know what it was like. She had traveled around the world for years after the war. It was hard to stay in one spot for long, it made everything seem too dull, confined. She mostly hung around dusty little towns, kicking up trouble as she went. She wasn't called the Blind Bandit for nothing. With no one to tell her what to do and how to think she had quickly fallen back into her scams. It wasn't as fun without Sokka, but it kept her busy and gave her a good laugh every now and then. It was all great at first, but then things slowly got lonely and sad. She started missing her friends, the scars of the war began to seep through her unconscious mind and into her dreams. Things were hard, she was hungry a lot and usually didn't have a roof to sleep under unless it was her own earth-tent, (which she preferred anyways), unless it rained. She knew the hardships were all a part of her road to self-discovery, which was quickly becoming the obvious reason to why she had left in the first place. She thought it was because she just wanted to go have fun with no rules, but the longer she traveled, the clearer it became that she was lost and had been for a long time.

The older she got, the rougher the crowds she hung around became. She started to pal around in bars. And not just any bars, hard, rough and tumble, dirty, bars. Bars with bearded, rusty old men who had one eye and cackled over fist fights. Toph was most at home in those places. She loved starting trouble and picking fights. The pain was a reminder that she was alive, and it was most addicting, invigorating high she'd ever experienced. That and she just simply liked to fight. It was like being back in the Earth Rumbles, but in the bars she usually just threw punches, not boulders. The first time she'd been punched she quickly realized it was so much more exciting than evading a flying rock. So she decided she'd fist fight just for fun and use earthbending when she needed to remind someone of just who they were dealing with. She was a terrible fighter at first, but she learned fast, getting knocked around would do that to a person.

Eventually even the drunken bar fights got less satisfying and eventually she decided she had done enough gallivanting and had done enough soul-searching and finally got to know herself and become her own person. She moved outside of a little town in the Earth Kingdom and started building her house. Sokka helped a lot, Katara helped decorate and Aang was there to help with whatever he could get his hands on. Zuko did not visit but that was okay because he was busy being Fire Lord Sparky and Toph understood that.

That was two years and a half years ago. She had not seen her friends since, that is, until Sokka showed up that afternoon. She had yearned for someone to hold her and comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but the shame of her assault was stronger. Her fear hungrier than the need for a friend. Sokka finished telling her how he had traveled after he left the South Pole. He did the exact opposite of what Toph had done on her journey to self-discovery. He had helped form treaties and resolved conflicts between the nations, in his own way. He held a spot on Zuko's council for a short while until the Fire Lord relieved him, seeing Sokka was not truly happy. The young Tribesman had crossed through Caldera and teetered along the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation border for years, helping those who needed him. He helped calm the people when they fought over trade routes or treaties. He helped many towns come to terms with the fact they were now at peace with their Fire Nation neighbors. Sokka had never stopped helping people.

Maybe, she thought, karma was repaying her for all the mischief she had caused for those six years.

"How are Katara and Aang?" She asked when Sokka finished his story.

"They're good, flying around doing their magic," he smiled.

"So Katara didn't give him the boot then?" Toph smirked.

"Still _happily _married." Sokka spat the words, bristling up and crossing his arms over his chest like a petulant child. Toph breathed a laugh. She knew he was just joking. She knew the young man approved of the bald airbender more than he let on sometimes. It was just a few months ago they had gotten married, but Toph didn't go to the ceremony, refusing to be blind for weeks just so she could watch a half an hour ceremony and lovey-dovey words exchanged. She just sent them an extra special gift. Lots of alcohol.

By the time the two best friends had gotten all caught up with one another, it was dark outside. Toph stood, stretching her body, rocking to her tip toes. "Come on, Sokka, I'll show you the guest room."

"Toph, I helped build it," Sokka laughed. "You go on to bed, I'm sure I'll find it," he joked. Her house wasn't very large.

"Alright," she yawned heading towards her bedroom.

"Goodnight, Toph," Sokka said reaching out to touch her shoulder. She flinched out from under his hand before it had even made contact.

"Night, Sokka," she mumbled, hurrying off to her room. She didn't notice Sokka giving her back a confounded look, his arm still hanging in the air.


	3. Chapter 3

The following morning Toph woke with a start after a fitful sleep. When she had gone to bed last night she had re-made her nest of blankets on the floor after locking her door so Sokka wouldn't come in unannounced. She feared he would start asking questions she didn't want to answer if he noticed how strange she had become. She laid in her blankets, blinking unseeingly at the ceiling trying to recall if she had dreamt. Her stomach rolled suddenly, her mouth salivating, her jaw clenching. She sat up and darted from her room down the hall. She nearly collided with Sokka on her way to the bathroom. "Toph, I had to pee!" He whined loudly. She ignored him as she shoved his sleepy form from the doorway, about to lose the contents of her stomach. She fell on her knees in front of the toilet and wretched. Sokka was at her side in a second, holding her hair at the nape of her neck. "Are you ok?" He asked, thoroughly puzzled. Toph would have made a snide comment but her stomach clenched again the acid burning the back of her throat on it's way up. "Toph," he said sympathetically rubbing her shoulder. She shivered at the gentle touch and jerked away from him. He frowned, confused and worried about his best-friend. He didn't let go of her hair but removed his hand from her shoulder. He leaned over and yanked a washcloth off the sink and ran the faucet with his fingers, soaking the rag and squeezing it out. He placed the cool cloth at her neck and reached around to feel her forehead. It wasn't often Toph contracted something, she played in the dirt for fun and her immune system had become nearly impenetrable. The coolness on her neck actually calmed her stomach.

Eventually the blind earthbender quit vomiting and sat back on her heels, leaning against Sokka's legs. She was tired and shaky, her abdomen was sore from the stress. Sokka removed the washcloth from her neck and reached forward and wiped her mouth. She blushed, mortified and upset with herself for being so weak in front of him. "Are you sick or something?" He asked as she shoved his helping hands away when she stood.

"I don't know, I guess," she fumbled, searching for a plausible excuse. "Maybe it was something we ate?"

Sokka's face scrunched in thought. "I don't feel sick," he thought aloud, rubbing his belly, "and you're not feverish…"

"Maybe I just got a flu-bug or somethin'," she said creeping back to her room to shut the door before he saw she'd been sleeping on the floor. She shut the door quickly and nearly smacked into his chest when she turned around to go to living room. He was still prattling on about possible reasons for her illness. She flopped down on the couch and rolled away from him, yanking a blanket over herself from the back of the couch. She tuned him out for a long time while he wandered around the kitchen, rattling around in the cupboards to make breakfast. She became lost in her thoughts, wishing she could just go back to sleep. Luckily, it seemed as though her friend had not become suspicious yet, but if her sickness continued like this, every single morning as it had been doing, he would start asking questions. She didn't want to send him away, and she suspected he planned on visiting for a while, maybe even a few months and by then there would be no way to hide her growing stomach. The only way she could keep her secret would be to send him away, but as distressed as she became when he touched her in any way, she felt safer with him here. She missed human contact more than she thought she would and now that she'd had a taste of it again, she craved it. And although she didn't sleep well last night, it hadn't been because she was afraid the _monster _would break in her house to hurt her again. Having an extra set of eyes and ears to look after her was… a mollifying sensation. And she certainly didn't doubt Sokka's fighting skills… or his loyalty to her, at least until he found out what had happened to her. She frowned at that thought and wondered just how much longer she'd have a best friend.

She hadn't even registered Sokka had stopped talking until the room became silent. "Do you need anything, Toph? Can I do anything to make you feel better?" He asked sincerely from the kitchen.

"No, Sokka, thank you," she sighed. He was so kind and good to her. And she didn't deserve it. He started right back up with his cooking racket. Toph had not realized she'd dozed off until she was shaken awake.

"Hey, breakfast's done. There's congee and fish and some fresh fruit too."

"Ok," she said groggily, "that sounds good." She sat up and wobbled over to the table, still half-asleep. Sokka had already filled his face with food by the time she sat down. She tasted her hot food, almost moaning at the flavor. It was so much easier to eat when he was here, and when he made such good food too. "This is really good, when did you become such a good cook?"

"At the Fire Palace actually. In between meetings I'd sneak down to the kitchen and help the cook. She showed me a lot of stuff." He paused as he lost himself in the memory, "and she hit me with her spoon a lot too." Toph cracked a smile at that.

"You probably deserved it."

"Probably," he smiled. "But she taught me a lot, and honestly I started enjoying being in the kitchen more than being in meetings. So then I knew it was time to move on. By then Zuko had probably already made the decision to suggest moving on."

Toph poked around at her food, eating all the good bits of fish first and then moving on to the congee. She wanted to make sure she had room for the fruit beside her plate though. It was bizarre to her, actually enjoying food again. She had missed it. She was relatively quiet for the rest of breakfast, listening to Sokka enthusiastically tell stories of his adventures in the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom. "So anyways, that's how the last few years went," he finished lamely. It was quiet for a while after that. "Um, you feeling better now?"

"Yes, a lot, thank you."

Sokka snorted. "You sure are being polite," he chuckled. Toph frowned at him. "What? It's true."

"Well, I've grown up in the last few years," she quipped. Sokka frowned. He had just been trying to cut up a little.

"You ok, Toph? You've been acting strange ever since I got here…"

"I'm fine," she said sharply. The blind earthbender got up from the table quickly and started scrubbing away at her dishes. "Here, give me those," she said reaching out a soapy hand towards Sokka, who sat at the table, watching his best friend. He got up and handed her his dishes. He stepped back and wondered at her strange behavior. Maybe she was just being moody; this was Toph after all.

He squeezed in beside her at the sink and bumped her hip with his. "I'll rinse and dry," he told her, plunging his hands into the opposite side of the sink. He was used to dealing with her mood swings, even if it had been a few years. This... this was different. _Toph _felt different. Sokka frowned a little as he dried a plate and set it on the counter. There was definitely something wrong with his best friend, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. He continued to rinse and dry in silence. Toph worked quickly and efficiently, placing her dishes in the right side of the sink just as Sokka would finish drying one. Even after all these years, they still worked like a well-oiled machine. He glanced over at her from the corner of his eye. She felt different in a good way too. Her body had changed from a child's form, to solid muscle, and now into something more beautiful than the last. She was still very short, very small and her strength still rolled under her skin with every stroke of her arm. But now her body had transformed from that muscle-ridden creature into an athletic beauty. He felt his cheeks heat at the thought that he found his best friend attractive.

The pair finished their chore and then took a walk down to the creek. Sokka was determined to catch a few fish for super tonight and Toph was along to laugh at him. Although, she was sorely disappointed to find he had actually become a skilled fisherman, spearing three fish within the span of ten minutes. It seemed she would not get to witness him fall head first into the water after the elusive creatures. After he had caught five fish he plopped down on the bank and removed his shirt. Toph felt her cheeks heat, a bit shy and feeling slightly awkward. "Remember that time when Appa was shedding everywhere and we made beards out of his hair?" He chuckled.

"Mmhm," she replied quietly.

"Man, that seemed so long ago," he murmured, scooping water into his hand and rinsing his neck of the fine layer of sweat from his fishing. "Those were some of the worst and best days of my life."

"Mine too," Toph said back softly. She had already experienced the worst days of her life in the past few weeks, the war days hardly applied anymore.

"You ok?" He asked, ducking his head trying catch her eyes, something he did despite the fact he knew he couldn't.

"Fine," she answered shortly.

Sokka didn't believe her. "Katara and Aang visited the Fire Palace a few months ago. She told me Zuko and Mai were acting pretty strange," he said hoping to bait her into talking to him with juicy gossip. But she didn't say anything, just kept staring unseeingly into the water. Sokka cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yeah and um, she said they were being really affectionate and oogie towards each other…" he trailed off, hoping it would do the trick.

"So?"

"Well I mean that pretty strange coming from them, I mean its Mr. and Mrs. Doom and Gloom we're talking about here." He paused. "Anyways, Katara says she thinks they're trying to have a baby."

_That_ did make the earthbender perk up. Sokka jumped right on it and bolstered on the topic.

Toph felt sicker and sicker the more he talked. Zuko and Mai's child would get to have a wonderful life with wonderful parents. They would be able to parent their baby well and rear the little fire-breather with confidence. The heir would get to have a mother and a father. And would get to know and love them both. Toph's own child would have a crappy mother, someone who didn't know what she was doing and would screw up constantly. Her baby would have a mother… and no father. That is, if she kept the kid. It was getting a little bit harder every day thinking of giving her child away to strangers. But her resolve stayed sure, although a bit shaky. But maybe the adoptive parents wouldn't have to be complete strangers. Surely Katara would know some good people, a family who would love her child like their own. People who would be good parents. However, having Katara's assistance would mean revealing her secret instead of doing everything quietly like she had planned. No one would have to know of her disgrace that way.

She felt tears stinging her eyes. She was in a whole heap of trouble and confusion. She didn't know what to do or how to do it. And this infernal child growing in her belly was making her love it more and more all the time. She had to give the baby away, for it's own sake. Her thoughts drifted back to her other friends getting married and having children and she was so jealous and heartbroken. It just wasn't fair!

"Hey, are you… are you crying?" Sokka asked suddenly. Toph swallowed her gasp of surprise and her hand darted up to wipe her eyes.

"No," she jumped up and straightened her clothes. She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. Toph hurried off to the house, completely ashamed of her weakness.

"Hey, whoa!" Sokka said leaping up behind her. "Toph," he called. She kept walking, just wanting to get away from him. "Toph!" He said firmly, grabbing her arm and pulling her around to face her. "What is wrong with you?" He demanded.

"Nothing," she said trying to pry his fingers off her arm with her other hand.

"Toph," He said gently but firmly, holding her a little tighter. She tried to yank her elbow out of his hand, becoming more and more frantic with each tug. "Toph, stop it!" He ordered grabbing her other elbow and giving her a little shake. "What is _wrong_?" Sokka demanded.

"Let go of me!" The little earthbender nearly shouted.

In all the years he'd known the young woman he was restraining, he had _never _seen her act like this, like some scared animal. Fear was not in Toph's makeup. He tried to still her but she kept struggling to get away from his grasp. What had happened to her these last two years? The Toph he knew would've hit him for holding her against her will instead of desperately trying to escape his touch like she'd been doing the last two days. "Toph!" He shouted. He hated raising his voice to her. It seemed to catch her attention; she had scratched his arm up pretty good by now. He released one arm and grabbed her chin tenderly but steadily. "What has gotten into you? You never act like this. You don't cry, Toph, why are you crying?" He almost whispered, heartbroken and scared to see tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I'm fine." She growled, pulling her jaws from his hands. "Leave me alone."

"You're my best friend, tell me what's go you so upset? I haven't even been here for two days and I've already noticed you're not yourself."

It nearly broke Toph's heart in two again to hear him say that. She knew she wasn't herself anymore, her own body didn't even belong to her anymore. It was that _monster's _now. Sokka was confirming her fears and it terrified and cut her deeply. She yanked her arm out of his grasp, thoroughly fed up with having hard hands on her. It wasn't as if she hadn't dreamed of restraining, demanding hands enough as it was.

"I'm fine," she growled under her breath, folding her arms across her chest.

"You're lying. I don't have to be an earthbender to see that." Neither of them said anything for a long second. "I'm your best friend, Toph. You can tell me anything."

"Not this," she said, tears threatening to fall again. She spun on her heels and nearly ran for the house. When she had burst through the front door she couldn't hold back her sobs any longer. She darted through the house and locked herself in her room, huddling in her nest of blankets. She pulled a blanket to her chest, burying her face in it, hoping to muffle her cries.

Sokka had followed her to the house and had her bedroom door shut in his face. When he heard her heart-wrenching sobs from behind the door, he felt his heart ache for her. He couldn't stand the thought that she was pain and that there was no way he knew to help. He felt useless, a feeling he hated. His best friend was hurting so terribly over something and he had no idea what had incited these raw emotions from the usually rock-solid girl he knew. He slumped down the door and listened to her cry for nearly an hour. Something had hurt her deeply and he wished he could make it better. He wished he could just take all the pain from her, whatever it was.

Toph was not sure how long she had been in her room. By the time she had stopped crying and her nose and become uncongested, the scent of cooking food had wafted in from under the door. She undid her ponytail and scraped her fingers through her tangled hair, trying to look and feel a little more put together. She rubbed her fingers over her eyelids and towards the corner of her eyes, hoping to press out any swelling. She didn't want to go out and face him yet. What was she supposed to tell him? That she had an emotional breakdown for no reason? She decided to just hole up in her room for the rest of the day. She was exhausted anyways and sorely needed a nap. She curled up and pulled her blankets over her head, hoping to block out the scent of food from her growling stomach.

Sokka had sat in front of Toph's door for a long time, even after she had stopped crying. He rubbed his face, jaw and chin like sandpaper from not having shaved this morning. He got up and drifted around the house for a few minutes before deciding maybe if he cooked something it would lure her out of her room. She always had loved food almost as much as him.

When Toph woke the room was cool and she was ravenous. She was going to go get food even if it meant having to deal with Sokka's questions. It wasn't as if she could've stayed locked up in her room until he left. She opened the door and nearly knocked over a bowl. She reached down and picked it up with one hand, grabbing the cup in the other. Sokka had made her food, and judging by the cool temperature of the contents of the dish, it had been a while ago. She felt so guilty for being so short with him and even more embarrassed at showing her weakness to him. But, despite it all, she felt a little smile at her lips. Sokka cared about her and after months of hating herself, a little bit of love felt nice.

"Thanks for this," she said as she passed the watertribesman lounging on the sofa on her way to the kitchen. She heard him get up from the couch and follow her.

"Here, why don't I warm this up and you go sit on the couch."

"No, Sokka, it's really ok, I-"

"Please, Toph. It's the least I could do after the way I acted this afternoon."

_What? The way he acted? She had been the one acting like a lunatic._

"But I-"

"Sit, Toph. Besides I have something to show you," he said smiling softly. She did as she was told and let him heat her food back up on the stove. She threw a blanket around her shoulders and tucked herself into a corner on the couch, glad the cushion was still warm. When Sokka came back her handed her her food and sat down beside her. "So I found this book." Toph ate a bite of food and made a noise in her throat to prompt him to continue. "I was thinking since, um, you know, you can't read that maybe I could read it to you?" He stumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Toph stopped chewing for a moment. It would be nice to be read to. It wasn't something she'd ever really concerned herself with, it had just never seemed important. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

"Good, that's good," Sokka smiled awkwardly. "I've never really read to anyone before, so sorry if I'm terrible," he apologized as he opened the book.

"Why would you be terrible?" She asked around her food.

"I can't really read all that well…" he said shyly, rubbing his hand across the cover, nervously.

"But I always thought you read just fine back when we were kids."

"I just had to take a few minutes to make sure I knew all the words first and… sometimes I improvised," he chuckled.

"Well, you can certainly read better than I can," Toph smiled.

Sokka nudged her in the ribs. "That's my girl."

Toph never knew how amazing books could be until that night. Within the first two pages she was hooked. Sokka seemed nervous, for what reason Toph couldn't really understand. He should know she wouldn't care how literate he was. He had to stop a few times and work out a couple of words but read pretty smoothly the rest of the time. The story was interesting, a bit corny, Toph thought, but interesting. So far there was a man named Hinto, a watertribesman who had moved to the Earth Kingdom to start a hippo-cow farm. He prized his ostrich-horses as they were crucial to his cow farming. There was also a young woman named Lin, a native of the Earth Kingdom from a wealthy family. They also owned ostrich-horses but bred, raced and showed them. Her parents were smothering and she hated the rough way they trained the horses. And Lin wanted _out_.

It was late, Toph was nodding off, smiling faintly as Sokka purposely changed the sentences to complete nonsense just to see if she was still paying attention. She was, of course, and nudged him in the ribs when he did that. Eventually they both peeled themselves from the couch and passed out in their respective rooms.

Toph slept soundly at first, no dreams, just solid, healing sleep.

Sokka was a light sleeper anyways so when Toph began screaming, he was bolting out of bed before her second cry reached his ears.


End file.
